A Dream Fulfilled
By Ralkana

=/\= =/\= =/\=

He watched her from the window of their new home. A smile lit his eyes and quirked his lips as she walked the perimeter of the freshly tilled square of land, alternating her gaze between the dark earth and the cloudless blue sky. She looked peaceful and happy; there was no tension in the way she carried herself, and it was a sight he had not seen for a long time. Closing his eyes, he sighed in contentment.

He turned and headed for the stairs, thinking, It’s finally time. I can do this now, finally give them to her.

=/\= =/\= =/\=

Kathryn stood in her new garden, feeling the solid ground beneath her feet and the breeze on her face. She let her mind drift, thinking of nothing in particular, listening to the birdsong. There was one word running through her mind, the same one that had been in her thoughts for months. But now, it seemed to have a special resonance. Home…

She jumped when she felt a pair of hands descend lightly upon her shoulders.

"I’m sorry, beloved," he murmured. "I didn’t mean to startle you."

"It’s okay," she said, bringing one of his palms to her lips.

"I have something for you, something to plant in your garden."

She frowned. "I already have everything all planned out, Chakotay…"

"Hmm," he said with a chuckle. "Why am I not surprised? Well, I think you might want to see if you can find a place to squeeze these in."

He handed her a small paper packet. Running her fingers over the rough material, she flipped it over and spied the words on the back. She recognized them as Talaxian, though she’d never learned to read it. She did understand the small word written in the lower right corner; it was the signature of her former morale officer. She glanced up at Chakotay, her eyes wide with surprise.

"Chakotay… these aren’t what I think they are?"

He smiled. "Open it."

She ripped one end off the packet and spilled its contents into her hand. The distinctive smell of Talaxian tomato seeds wafted out upon the breeze.

"Oh! Where… how… I thought there were none left…"

"Neelix gave them to me, a long time ago…"

She looked up to see him smiling, but it was a sad smile, and there was an ache in his eyes with which she was all too familiar. His voice told her the story, but she could tell that he was lost in the memories.

=/\= =/\= =/\=

Neelix entered the darkened mess hall, stopping just inside when he saw the lone figure standing before the viewport. He sighed; this situation was a difficult one, and he hated to see either one of them in pain. The crew was thrilled to have its command team back and healthy, but they could all see what it had cost the pair.

Moving closer, he watched as the figure raised one hand to its uniform collar and tugged at it, as if the uniform was unknown and uncomfortable. The object of Neelix’ scrutiny caught the morale officer’s reflection in the viewport and sighed.

"Commander," Neelix said softly, and the figure sighed again and turned.

"Hello, Neelix," he answered, just as quietly. "I couldn’t sleep, so I thought I’d get an early start on the day. There’s a lot to catch up on…" His voice trailed off, and his lips twisted in what might have been a grin or a grimace.

0230 is quite an early start, Neelix thought but didn’t say aloud. "Would you like some tea?"

"Yes… That would be wonderful. Thanks…"

Neelix prepared the tea absentmindedly, his thoughts focused on Chakotay. The man seemed so… lost. When Neelix had seen him on duty earlier in the day, Chakotay had seemed fine. A little subdued, but that was to be expected. Now, in the middle of the night, Neelix could easily see that Chakotay did not want to be back aboard Voyager.

He handed Chakotay the cup of tea and watched as the commander silently sipped at it, standing forlornly at the counter that separated the galley from the mess hall. Neelix busied himself making preparations for the breakfast rush, knowing that if Chakotay wanted to talk, he would have to be the one to initiate it.

After a few moments, Chakotay said, "Neelix…"

"Yes, Commander?"

"Do you… I… I was wondering… if you had… any packets of tomato seeds you don’t need. I… I’d just like one, if you can spare it." He looked down into his mug. "I thought… I thought I might plant them in my garden when we get home…" The last sentence had nearly been whispered, and he turned away from Neelix.

Neelix watched him battle for control of his emotions, and he nearly felt like crying with him. This was destroying Chakotay… Neelix wasn’t sure what had gone on down on that planet, but it was obvious Voyager’s first officer felt he had lost far more than he had gained by returning. After a moment, Chakotay turned back, and his question was still in his dark, liquid eyes.

"Of… Why, yes, actually, I do, sir." Neelix scurried into the back pantry area, quickly looking through his supplies. He came back out grasping a small container. "There’s quite a few seed packets in here, actually. About fifty. You’re welcome to have all of them."

Chakotay’s eyes widened. "All of them? I don’t… I don’t need fifty packets of seeds, and besides, what about planting them in the—"

"Oh, they won’t do us any good if we plant them on the ship. I was going to eventually use them for seasoning, but I’d much rather you have them." He frowned. "Kes says they haven’t been growing well in the airponics bay."

"No," Chakotay answered, anger and regret lacing his quiet words. "Some things won’t grow on this damn ship. They need fresh air and sunlight, openness and honesty…"

Neelix was pretty sure Chakotay wasn’t talking about the tomatoes anymore, but he kept quiet. Chakotay straightened up, setting down his mug and taking the container from Neelix, but before he could say anything more, the mess hall doors slid open, and both men turned to look. Neelix felt rather than saw Chakotay freeze at the sight of Captain Janeway, but Janeway’s desire to retreat was briefly all too evident in her eyes.

After a few seconds of looking like a panicked animal, she straightened her shoulders and tilted her chin up, but her eyes remained locked on Chakotay’s. Neelix had the feeling they had both forgotten he was in the room. They gazed at each other so intensely that Neelix was beginning to worry that the furniture that stood between them would start to smolder.

Janeway visibly swallowed, tearing her eyes away from him to stare at the deck. Then, she said in a voice rough with emotion, "Commander."

Neelix watched mournfully as Chakotay’s eyes fluttered closed and his shoulders slumped. After a moment, the first officer muttered in a broken voice, "Captain. Ex… excuse me."

Clutching the container Neelix had given him tightly to his chest, he strode out of the mess hall.

=/\= =/\= =/\=

Chakotay finished recounting that night, shaking off the melancholy memories.

"I decided to bring them all home with me, and I knew that wherever I ended up, I would have a garden with Talaxian tomatoes. After a while, I stopped allowing myself to hope that you might share that garden with me."

He chuckled. "After we got home, when we were packing all of our belongings on Voyager, I found the seeds." His voice roughened again. "I thought of what Seven would say if she knew I’d had that container for half a decade, and I knew she could never understand why I’d do something like that. Only you would. And I realized that I didn’t care what Seven thought about it, but what you might think about it meant everything to me. So I went to see you in your ready room one last time, praying that it wasn’t too late. And you know the re—" He abruptly stopped speaking as he looked down into her face.

Kathryn was staring at him, tears glistening on her cheeks. Curling one hand around the precious seeds, she flung her arms around him, squeezing him in a hug that drove the breath from his lungs. He buried his face in her hair, nuzzling her and stroking her back.

"I’m so sorry, Chakotay. I was so stupid, and I hurt you so badly. I hurt us both so badly. I can’t—"

"Shh. Shh, beloved, it’s alright. Don’t cry, my Kathryn. You did what you thought was right."

"But I was wrong!"

"Maybe. But it doesn’t matter now. We’re home, and we love each other, and we’re happy, and we have Talaxian tomatoes," he said with a dimpled grin.

She stared into his dark eyes, seeing the love shining there, unspoiled by regret or unhappiness, and she couldn’t stay upset.

"I love you," she murmured, returning his smile. "And I’m so sorry that I pushed you away for so long…"

"Shh," he replied, placing his fingers over her lips. "I love you too, Kathryn."

"I remember that night. I always wondered what was in that container. You were holding it like a lifeline… So, how many tomatoes do we have?"

He laughed. "Counting the packet you have in your hand, we have four dozen packages of seeds. If they thrive—"

"They will," she said firmly, eyes flashing and chin set in determination. He chuckled.

"Yes, Ma’am. As I’m sure they’ll no doubt thrive," he amended smoothly, "Our great-great-grandchildren will be eating Pasta á la Neelix with Talaxian tomato sauce."

She smiled wickedly as she pulled his head down to hers. "Guess we better make sure we have enough great-great-grandchildren to feed it to, then, hmm?"