Mending Bridges, Healing Souls
By Ralkana

Disclaimer – I don’t own them; Paramount does. If I owned them, I think they’d have been much, much happier.

Comments and feedback to Ralkana47@yahoo.com would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Author’s Note – Endgame didn’t happen, C/7 didn’t happen, they’re still cruising along in the DQ. Denial is a river in Egypt. :)

Thanks to JoJo for the title!

Rated NC-17 for explicit sex. Minors please click here to return to my story index to choose another story.

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Kathryn lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. She couldn’t sleep, and she knew why. For the first time since they had begun sharing a bed nearly a month before, Chakotay wasn’t there to wrap his arms around her and breathe warmly into her ear. The insomnia she’d been plagued with throughout Voyager’s journey had disappeared within days of their first night together, and she had been sleeping soundly through the night for the first time in years. Voyager was traveling through another void—not nearly as large as the one they’d found themselves in before, however—so it had been possible for them to coordinate their shifts and share off duty time. The crew was more than willing to accommodate them, though there hadn’t been a huge fuss about the change in their relationship, for which they were both grateful.

Earlier that day, they’d had what seemed to her to be a minor argument in the ready room, when she’d refused to put down B'Elanna’s report and eat something. He’d left and spent the rest of his shift in his office, and afterwards, he hadn’t met her for dinner. She felt awful for snapping at him, knowing that he was just trying to look out for her, as he always did. It was the monotony of this area of space that was making her irritable, but she had no excuse for taking it out on Chakotay. She wanted to apologize, but he was on the holodeck, and they had agreed that holodeck time was personal time. They needed places to go to relax in solitude, and if one was on the holodeck without the other and without issuing an invitation it was “do not disturb” time.

She’d debated waiting for him by the holodeck doors but had eventually decided that doing so might provoke him into a confrontation. That was the last thing she wanted to happen, since her reason for being there would be to apologize to him. After waiting up for him for some time, she’d decided to make an early night of it, to get some sleep so she would be rested and ready to make things right in the morning. She’d heard her grandmother’s voice in her head, urging her not to go to bed angry.

“I don’t have a choice, Grandma. I can’t apologize to him if I can’t find him…”

A sudden thought struck her. Maybe he’s gone back to his quarters. Maybe he’s not coming back.

“Computer, locate Commander Chakotay.”

“Commander Chakotay is in Turbolift 4.”

She let out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding. He’d finally left the holodeck. When she queried again a few seconds later, he was on Deck Three. She held her breath to see if her door would open, and she sighed in relief when it did. She kept her eyes glued on the doorway between her living room and her bedroom, but she didn’t move a muscle. His large frame filled the doorway and he hesitated for a moment before moving slowly into the dark room.

“Chakotay,” she said, and he jumped and hissed.

“You’re awake,” he said, and there was something strange about his voice, but she put it down to anger.

“Oh, Chakotay, I’m sorry,” she said. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you earlier, and you have every right to be mad at me.”

He sat heavily on the edge of the bed.

“Can we talk about this tomorrow?” he murmured. “I… I’m really tired.”

She frowned. There was definitely something wrong with him.

“Chakotay? Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” He shucked his clothes off and stretched out flat on the bed. She moved closer and snuggled into him and he winced and tried to stifle a groan. Kathryn sat up immediately.

“Computer, lights 50%!” she ordered, and she gasped when they came up. “What the hell?”

His chest and midsection were rapidly bruising, dark violet instead of burnished bronze, and from the pattern of the damage, she could see that it was serious.

“I’m fine,” he said, but she could tell now that the strange tone in his voice came from trying to hold in the pain as he spoke.

“What did you do, go thirty rounds with a Nausicaan?! My God, Chakotay! Did you turn the safeties off?”

“No. The computer doesn’t consider repeated blows to anything but the head as dangerous unless there's a loss of consciousness, hemorrhaging, or broken bones. It was just a workout, Kathryn. I’ll be fine tomorrow. Please… just… I need to sleep it off.”

“You won’t be able to move tomorrow!”

“It always looks like this. This is just the first time you’ve seen it when I’ve done more than light sparring or shadowboxing.”

“You come to the bridge like this? After every workout?” The flatness of her tone clearly spelled out her disbelief.

He sighed. “Okay. I got a little carried away this time. But I needed to work off some steam.”

“You were this angry at me?” she asked quietly after a moment, running a finger very lightly along his chest.

“Not just at you… at this area of space, and at the universe in general.” He looked up at her and there was pain in his eyes that didn’t stem from the bruises on his body. “Nine years ago today I resigned from Starfleet,” he said.

“Oh, Chakotay… I… I didn’t realize…”

He shrugged, wincing as he did so. “I know you didn’t. It was just… all that… I was feeling frustrated earlier for past mistakes. For not having been home, not having been able to protect my family when I should have been there, and then… you… all I wanted to do was… take care…”

She closed her eyes and dropped her head. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“It’s okay, beloved,” he murmured, and he tried to sit up to take her in his arms. His muscles had stiffened in just the few moments of rest, however, and this time he couldn’t quite bite back the groan in time.

Kathryn’s head snapped up and her eyes glittered dangerously as her jaw set in determination.

“Right. That’s it, Chakotay. Do you think you can walk to Sickbay? If not, I’m calling the Doctor here.”

His eyes widened. “What? I don’t need Sickbay or the Doctor, Kathryn. I told you, I’m fine!”

“You could have cracked ribs or deep tissue bruising!”

He smiled briefly. “I’ve been dealing with this a lot longer than you have, Kathryn. It’s just bruising. If it were more serious, I’d go to Sickbay. I’ll be sore tomorrow, but I’m fine. The painful aftermath is just part of being a boxer.”

Kathryn scowled at him. “I don’t like it.”

He laughed, his face creasing in pain. “Then don’t box.”

She shot him a glare, and then she reached over him to the bedside table. Opening the drawer, she pulled out the dermal regenerator.

“You are not sleeping in my bed when you’re in pain, Chakotay. Especially when it’s partly my fault. I can’t deal with it. Not when I can do something about it.”

“It’s not your fault, Kathryn. Not even a little bit. But if you want me to, I’ll regenerate it all.” He reached for the regenerator and she shook her head and pulled it out of his reach.

“Lie down and keep still,” she ordered.

“Yes, Ma’am. See, why do I need the EMH when I can have Dr. Janeway?” he said, biting his lip as she examined the bruises more closely.

“God, Chakotay, I don’t know if I can handle this on a regular basis,” she said as she ran the instrument over the worst of the damage.

He glanced at her, his dark eyes serious. “Are you asking me to give up boxing, Kathryn?”

She shook her head quickly. “No. No, I know you enjoy it, and I wouldn’t ask you to give up anything for me… it’s just… it hurts me to see you hurt.”

He grinned and pressed his fingers to her lips. “Well, it hurts me to see you hurt too. Remember that the next time you pull some crazy stunt and wind up in Sickbay, okay?”

She rolled her eyes and sighed. Finished with his chest, she quickly ran the regenerator in long passes over his body. The quick treatment wouldn’t do much, but maybe it would help with his sore muscles. She tossed the device back in the drawer, satisfied that he was as healed as he could be.

“How’s that?”

“Better,” he said with a grin, which wilted abruptly when she placed light pressure on his chest. She glared at him.

“Liar. Dammit. There is deep tissue bruising. Chakotay…” He opened his mouth and she snapped, “If you say ‘I’ll be fine,’ I can’t be held responsible for my actions. Hold still.” She reached over him and opened the bottom dresser drawer, pulling out a medical tricorder and another instrument. His eyes widened when he saw it.

“Kathryn? Why do you… never mind. I don’t think I want to know why you’re in possession of a deep tissue regenerator.”

She said nothing as she ran it carefully over his chest, simultaneously scanning him with the tricorder. He sighed and breathed in deeply and gratefully as he felt the muscles begin to heal.

“I take it your silence means that I’m probably right and I don’t want to know about it. Does the Doctor know you have it?” She raised her eyes from his chest to glare at him, and he sighed again. “Didn’t think so.”

He grabbed the hand holding the regenerator, forcing her to look at him.

“Kathryn…”

“What, Chakotay?”

“It worries me that you have these devices hidden in your quarters, as much as I am grateful at the moment that you do have them,” he said with a quick grin. “Can we make a pact? I have a feeling I’m probably gonna need this every once in a while. After all, I don’t foresee my steam-venting workouts ending soon, since I’m in love with the most trying woman in the universe,” he said, and she arched an eyebrow and moved the regenerator out of his reach. He laughed.

“Okay, okay. I know that you, being you, will most likely need to use it at one time or another. Will you promise me never to use it on yourself? Tell me when you’re hurt, and I will tell you when I need your help. Okay? Can we do that? That way we at least face it together?”

She considered his idea as she finished healing him, and she smiled. She realized she no longer had any desire to hide in her bathroom and bite her lip as she ran the regenerator over her own wounds, knowing that he would do it for her, most likely interspersing his treatment with healing kisses and concerned lectures. She nodded, and he leaned up to kiss her. This time, she could tell he felt no pain at the movement, and she put the regenerator and the tricorder back in their hiding spot.

“Well, that’s as good as it’s gonna get, but you’re probably still going to be sore in the morning.” She motioned with one hand. “Turn over.”

“Hmm?”

“Turn over. I’m gonna give you a massage.”

Chakotay grinned and raised an eyebrow. “I get a massage too? I should work out more often.”

She laughed. “Just turn over.”

“Yes, ma’am!” He chuckled and obediently rolled onto his stomach, presenting her with a gorgeous expanse of golden skin and rippling muscles, broken only by the black silk of his boxers. He groaned as he felt her small, strong hands firmly kneading the sore muscles in his arms, neck, back, and legs.

No longer able to resist the sight of him stretched out before her, she lay full length atop him, rubbing her satin-clad body over his bare skin. He shivered and moaned under her. She rested her chin on his shoulder, breathing in the scent of his shampoo.

“You smell good.”

He laughed, and the deep sound of his voice rumbled up through his back and into her chest, sending sparks flying through her. “I just worked out for five hours in the gym, Kathryn. Do you think I’d come to your bed after that without showering, no matter how sore I am?”

She grinned. “I don’t know… I kind of like you all fierce and sweaty.”

He arched an eyebrow. “Oh really?”

“Mmm, yes,” she purred, and he growled and captured her lips with his. She moaned into his mouth, pressing against him as she slid one hand into his hair to tangle in the ebony locks. The kiss deepened and Chakotay grew frustrated when he realized she had him pinned down and he wasn’t able to touch her. Breaking the kiss, he quickly rolled, spilling her off of him. He caught her as she hit the bed with a yelp and a laugh, and pulled her atop his chest. He ran his hands through her hair, smiling as she arched into his touch.

He sat up, bracing his back against the headboard and pulling her towards him so that he could nip at her neck. She threw her head back as his hand found her breast, pinching at the taut nipple through the smooth fabric. He lowered his head to her, sucking at the pebbled peak through the satin, and she moaned, pressing herself down onto him as she rocked her hips, feeling him hot and hard through the silk of his boxers.

Chakotay hissed at the friction, nipping at her. She laughed throatily and wriggled against him again. He raised his head and opened his eyes, and she shivered at the desire in those dark eyes.

“I thought you were tired,” she said with a wicked smile.

“Mmm. I was. I’m all better now, though,” he replied, punctuating his words with quick kisses. She slid her hands up his chest to his shoulders, still rocking against him.

“I can see that.”

He arched up into her, moaning as she leaned forward to trace his tattoo with her tongue. It was something she’d longed to do for years, and now that she could, she did it every chance she got. He didn’t seem to mind; it always got an intense reaction out of him. She chuckled and he whispered something hoarsely as she placed fluttering kisses over his eyelids and his face, tongue flicking occasionally to taste his skin.

“Up,” he grunted, tugging at her nightgown, and she lifted her hips slightly so that he could slide it over her head. She fell back as he tossed it by the bedside, resting her weight on her hands, completely bared to him in the low light of the cabin. She watched his eyes darken even more and felt him harden further beneath her as he drank in the sight of her. During their first few nights together, she’d tried to cover herself, uncomfortable with the intensity with which his eyes bore into her. His pleas and heartfelt words of reverence banished her shyness, and now she let him gaze at her, enjoying the appreciation and the love she saw in his eyes.

“So beautiful,” he murmured, and she smiled.

He dipped his head and suckled a rosy peak, and she ground herself against him. They both moaned at the feeling of silk on hot flesh. She slid a hand in between them, cupping his hardened shaft through his boxers, shuddering as her fingers grazed her own flesh with the movement. Chakotay gasped and thrust up into her hand; his eyes fluttered closed as his head rolled back on his shoulders. Grinning, she leaned forward, increasing the pressure of her weight on him as she nipped at his neck. Eyes still closed, he laughed as she tried fruitlessly to mark him the way he couldn’t help marking her.

Kathryn slid down his body, pressing kisses to his newly healed chest, closing her eyes against the memories of seeing it bruised and battered. She followed the light arrow of fuzz down to the waistband of his boxers, swirling her tongue in his navel and laughing as he jumped and growled.

Chakotay’s breathing quickened as she slipped her fingers down just below the waistband, tickling the sensitive flesh. He groaned and whispered her name as she took his shaft in her hand, massaging in the moisture that leaked from the tip. She pressed a kiss to the head through the silk and gave a gentle squeeze.

“Up,” she ordered, and he chuckled huskily and raised his hips. She eased the boxers down over her hand and his hips and down his legs, finally tossing them to the deck. Her hands stroked and massaged the muscles in his legs, lingering here and there on tiny scars, remnants of life before Voyager. He shivered as she kissed her way up his thighs, and she glanced up to see him resting with his arms behind his head, watching her with hungry eyes.

She smiled coyly and licked her lips, laughing delightedly as his cock twitched as she did so. He was more responsive to her than any other man she’d ever been with, and she marveled at how he’d hidden it for so long. She lowered her head to him, keeping her eyes on him, watching the tension in his body grow as she drew closer and closer to him.

Giving him no warning, she took him fully in her mouth, and he cried out, thrusting up sharply. Her hand cupped and massaged his balls, one finger pressing into the sensitive spot behind them. Her other hand stroked and squeezed his throbbing shaft as she swirled her tongue around him, pushing him relentlessly toward release. His arms dropped down from behind his head, clutching at the sheets as his head thrashed helplessly with the pleasure.

“Spirits, Kathryn…” he groaned, and she chuckled, causing him to thrust even faster. “Stop… please, Kathryn… too… I’m gonna… ohhh…”

His pleading grew more frantic and she felt the head swell, quickly backing off slightly as he groaned out her name and exploded in her mouth. She continued gently stroking him as she swallowed the hot gushes, and he twitched and moaned beneath her. She milked the last of his seed from him, only letting go when he tugged gently on her hair.

“No more…” he gasped out. “Too much…”

She chuckled and climbed her way up his body, trailing her tongue up his smooth skin. His arms came around her, holding her firmly to him as his chest heaved. When he regained his breath he caught her lips with his in a fierce kiss, tangling his fingers in her hair as he plundered her mouth. She moaned and rubbed her chest against his, reveling in the feel of his slick skin on hers.

Chakotay whispered words hotly into her ear as he cupped and squeezed her ass, pressing her hips into his. Some she understood, most she didn’t, but they all made her heart pound and she twisted her fingers into his hair and rested her cheek against his.

He worked a hand between them and she jumped and gasped as he slid his fingers through her folds, pinching gently at her throbbing nub. Kathryn arched into his hand, nipping at his earlobe. He growled and bit her shoulder lightly in return, kissing a line down to her breast. He suckled the pebbled tip as he glided his fingers over her sensitive flesh, seeking and playing. He swiftly thrust two fingers into her, grinding the heel of his hand against her swollen bundle of nerves, and she cried out.

“You could have given me some warning,” she murmured with a shaky laugh, which trailed off into a moan as he began to move his fingers within her.

He chuckled. “Like you gave me?”

“Point… ohhh… point taken… ohh, God, Chakotay!”

“Ninde’,” he murmured, nuzzling her neck, and she smiled into his hair. She knew that one. My heart. “Spirits, you’re beautiful…”

He plunged his fingers deeply into her, and she moaned his name, clutching at his shoulders. She moved restlessly over him and felt him stirring anew against her thigh.

“God, Chakotay… ohh… don’t stop, please,” she whispered, and he quickened the motion of his hand, kneading her breast with his other.

“Never, beloved,” he said, kissing her roughly, his tongue imitating the movements of his fingers as he thrust it past her lips. She cried out, the sound stifled by the heated kiss, as the fire licking at her spread through her completely, and she ground herself sharply onto him. She fell onto his chest, panting as the waves crashed over her.

Kathryn moaned as she felt Chakotay slip his fingers from her, but he kept circling her sensitive nub with the pad of his thumb, and arcs of lightning shot through her at the contact. She gasped as he thrust himself inside her in one swift lunge, groaning as he arched his back and drove into her throbbing heat. So big… she thought briefly, and then all thought faded as he began to pound into her a hard, steady rhythm.

She opened her eyes to watch him, to see what she was doing to him. His eyes were half-lidded and unfocused, his brow creased in concentration, his dark hair rumpled and tousled from her caresses. He was panting, his full lips parted as he sucked in air, golden skin glistening in the half-light of the room.

Pushing up, she braced herself on her hands as she ground herself down onto him. He grunted as it pushed him more deeply into her, and his hands settled on her hips. He stretched up and captured a nipple in his mouth, sliding his tongue wetly over it, and she groaned and rocked harder against him.

She felt the waves crash closer again and she bucked against him, pulling him in as deeply as she could. Her hands found his shoulders and her nails bit into the taut flesh.

“Ohhhh… so good… God, Chakotay… so close… ohhh, please…”

The undisguised need in her words drove him closer to the edge, and his hands dug into her hips as he lunged upwards. He groaned her name as his thrusts grew ragged.

Through the haze of the impending explosion, Kathryn felt him swell within her, felt his stomach muscles tensing with the pleasurable pain. Her name tore jaggedly from his lips as he plunged as far into her as he could, spilling himself in heated spurts within her.

The sensation pulled Kathryn screaming over the edge, and they cried out together as her inner walls clenched around his still spasming shaft. They rocked against each other, riding out the waves, and she moaned his name one last time as she collapsed on his chest.

She lay there sated, rising and falling as his chest heaved, and rested her cheek next to his. One of his hands rested on her hip as the other combed soothingly through the auburn hair that lay across his shoulder. They whispered words of love to each other as the tumult faded, and he turned his head to give her a gentle kiss. His tongue sought and played with hers, and she smiled as she stroked her fingers over his cheeks. They both sighed when he slipped out of her, and she wriggled off of him to lie curled into his side.

“Spirits, how I love you, Kathryn,” he murmured, still in awe of the emotions coursing through him.

“And I love you,” she replied, smiling and snuggling into his chest as his arm came around her. "So who's this thug who beat the crap out of my angry Maquis warrior?"

He laughed tiredly. "No one in particular, why?"

"Because I may just have to go kick his ass."

He chuckled and hugged her close to him. "Don't worry, beloved. I give as good as I get."

She laughed. "Oh yes," she purred as sleep crept closer. "You certainly do..."