Bluffing the Crowd
By Ralkana

=/\= =/\= =/\=

Tom Paris rolled his eyes and stood up as Harry Kim enthusiastically answered Mike Ayala’s questions about the news he had received in the latest datastream from home. He turned to face the replicator only to find his wife staring disapprovingly at him. She shook her head as he came closer.

"What, B'E?"

"Don’t be so rude," she hissed as she handed him a bowl of potato chips. "They’re anxious to hear from home. They’ve both got happy families waiting for them there. Just because we don’t—"

"That’s not true!" Tom interrupted, taking another bowl of snacks from her and setting it on the table. "Your father is waiting for us, and so is my family."

B'Elanna snorted. "I said happy families. Tom, the only thing that’s waiting for me in the Alpha Quadrant is a jail cell."

He frowned; he hated it when she brought up their uncertain status back home. "Don’t say that—"

The door chimed and they looked at each other in surprise. "Are we expecting someone else?" he asked her, and she shook her head. He craned his neck toward the other two men, who had stopped their conversation to stare at the door. "Either of you two ask someone?" he called softly, and they both shook their heads. He moved toward the door, calling for entry as he did so, and he stopped in surprise when it slid open to reveal their unexpected guest.

"Captain!" B'Elanna said in shock.

"Hello," she responded, and Tom stepped hurriedly back so she could come in. "A little bird mentioned in passing that you had a poker night planned tonight."

Tom, B'Elanna, and Ayala all looked at Harry, who just grinned nervously. The captain was still standing just inside the doorway, and she glanced at the table laden with snacks, cards, and chips.

"I wondered if you might need another player," she said, and only because they had known her for years and seen her in countless crisis situations were they able to hear the tiny tremor in her voice.

If they had been surprised before, they were floored now.

"Um, sure!" Tom replied, before the silence stretched out uncomfortably. The others glanced subtly at each other, not sure how much alteration would have to be made to their behavior in order for them to spend an evening with the captain. "We’d love that!" Tom continued. "After all, if Picard can play poker with his officers, you can certainly play with us!"

B'Elanna’s eyes widened. "Captain Picard plays cards with his crew?" she asked disbelievingly.

Tom nodded. "His officers, yeah. But I think it’s a fairly recent development—or, at least it was when I heard about it. The Enterprise’s senior staff poker games are the stuff of legends. Do you want something to drink, Captain?" She stared at him with a hint of a smile, and he chuckled and said, "One black coffee coming up."

As he headed for the replicator to get her coffee and the standard orders of the others, the rest of them headed to the table and found seats. Kathryn smiled wistfully, thinking of her years as a junior officer.

"It’s been quite a while since I played poker," she said.

Tom laughed. "Right. And you didn’t know it was called a pool cue, either. Why do I have the feeling you’re about to hustle us all out of our rations for the rest of the trip?"

She grinned at him. "Oh, I won’t tell you that I wasn’t good at it when I did play, but it has been awhile. What are we playing, anyway?"

Before anyone could answer, her combadge chirped. She looked at it with a mixture of exasperation and surprise.

"Chakotay to Janeway."

Her exasperation faded, and she smiled as she tapped it. "Janeway here."

"I’m sorry to disturb your evening, Captain," he said formally. "I was wondering if you’d cancelled the dinner meeting we had scheduled for tonight."

Her eyes widened. "Oh! I’m sorry, Commander. I knew I was forgetting something."

The others looked at each other in shock. The captain had blown off dinner with Chakotay to play poker with them? They heard Chakotay chuckle.

"Well I’m glad that our meetings are so memorable, Captain. Would you like to reschedule?"

"If you’re available, let’s do it tomorrow, Chakotay."

"Sounds good."

Before he could sign off, she said, "I’m in the Paris quarters, Commander, playing poker." They all heard his cough of surprise, and she grinned. "I’m sure there’s room at the table for one more player, Chakotay. Care to join us?"

There was a pause. "That’s all right, Captain. You have fun, though."

B'Elanna called, "Come on, old man! It’s been a while since I whipped you at poker."

There was a loud snort over the comm line. "Because I’ve been doing the whipping for years now, Torres."

"Get your a—butt down here, Chakotay. I happen to know you’re in need of rations," she said, looking at Kathryn out of the corner of her eye. The captain’s birthday was coming up in a couple of weeks.

"All right, all right," he said in an easy tone. "I’ll be right there. Somebody pour me a drink. Chakotay out."

Janeway rose and went to the replicator. "One glass of iced tea, Chakotay blend 22, charge to Kathryn Janeway’s account, authorization Janeway iota six."

The others glanced at each other and smiled. Apparently the captain had access to Chakotay’s replicator files. The door chimed and B'Elanna called for entry. Chakotay stepped in hesitantly.

"Hello," he ventured.

"Sit down so we can start," Janeway said as she walked up to him and handed him his tea.

"Poker with the crew? Have you been drinking, Kathryn?" he murmured with a dimpled grin.

She swatted his arm. "Shut up, Chakotay. Sorry about dinner," she added in a softer tone.

"It’s okay. I’m glad to see you here."

She smiled and then said in a louder voice, "Come on, let’s show these kids how it’s done."

He laughed. "Yes ma’am!"

Kathryn whirled and glared at him and he stopped laughing in a hurry, unsure of what he’d done to deserve such a reaction. There were muted snickers from the others at the expression on his face.

"Captain Janeway is locked up tight in the ready room for the night," she said, still glaring at him. "Kathryn would like to play a few hands of poker, if that’s all right, and that means no Captains, no Ma’ams, and no Sirs. Please," she said, turning to the others, "We’ve known each other for a long time now, and I’d like to think we’re all friends as well as colleagues. I… miss hearing my name," she admitted with a crooked smile. "I would like it if you all called me Kathryn off duty."

They all stared at her in shock again, especially Ayala, who looked uncertain about whether he was supposed to be included in her request since he wasn’t a senior officer. Chakotay smiled encouragingly at her, glad she was finally taking this step. She smiled back at him before turning back to the others to see Tom grinning evilly at her.

"Don’t even think of calling me anything but Kathryn, Paris, or I’ll tell everyone what your mother once told me your sisters used to call you."

Everyone’s attention swiftly turned to Tom and he paled.

"You wouldn’t," he croaked, and she chuckled.

"Don’t test me."

Chakotay eyed Tom and resolved to get that particular secret out of Kathryn at the earliest opportunity. He finally sat, between her and Harry, and he nearly jumped right back up when he felt Kathryn’s hand brush against his knee under the table and stay there, resting on her own leg but almost stroking his. He tried to look at her without seeming too obvious about it. He was astonished to see her flirting with him so openly in public. She simply smiled at him without moving her hand, and he belatedly realized what she was doing. She was trying to get him off-balance to disrupt his game, and he grinned inwardly. Two can play at that game. He turned fully toward her and smiled, discharging both his dimples in a way he absolutely knew affected her.

"You ready to play, Kathryn?" he asked as he brushed his knee against her hand again.

She blinked, disarmed, and then smiled. "Of course." She turned toward Ayala, away from those dimples. "Hello, Lieutenant, how are you?" she asked, but before he could reply, Tom spoke up.

"Oh no, Kathryn. No ranks tonight. That goes for you too," he admonished, wondering for a moment if she even knew the man’s first name. Then he mentally kicked himself. Ayala was a member of her crew; of course she knew his name. She probably knew his wife’s name and both his sons’ names. Hell, she probably knew his dog’s name.

"Thank you for the reminder, Tom," she said with a gracious smile. She turned back to Ayala. "Do you prefer Michael, Mike, or something else?" she asked.

He smiled somewhat shyly at her. "Mike’s fine, ma—Kathryn," he said hesitantly when she scowled playfully at him, "And I’m doing well, thank you."

"Mike it is then, and I’m glad you’re well." She looked at Tom, who was watching the exchange with interest. "Are we going to play, Paris, or just make small talk all evening?"

He snapped back to himself with a start, shuffling one last time. "Let’s play. Five card draw, one draw, aces and one-eyed jacks wild. Blue chips are one ration, red five, white ten," he added for the benefit of the newcomers. He dealt, and the game began in earnest. Smiles vanished and faces became blank as the chips and cards began to fly.

=/\= =/\= =/\=

An hour later, Harry threw down his cards in disgust yet again. After a spectacular start in which he had successfully bluffed everyone for four straight games, his luck had apparently passed to the captain. She played poker just as well as—if not better than—she played pool, and Harry idly realized that years of dealing with blustering diplomats had honed her already formidable bluffing skills to perfection. She had the biggest pile of chips in front of her; it was only marginally larger than Tom’s, who was followed closely by Chakotay. Harry and the other two were all losing fairly equally.

"I’ll call your ten," Paris said, tossing in a white chip, confident that he’d finally called his captain’s bluff. She smiled sweetly and showed him three queens and a one-eyed jack.

"Four of a kind," she said, and Chakotay chuckled.

Tom groaned, showing his full house. "Dammit!" Then his mouth snapped shut. "Sorry," he said sheepishly.

"I’m a big girl, Tom. I can handle some profanity." She laughed. "In fact, I can probably curse in languages you’ve never even heard of. You’d better pray you never have reason to hear my choicest terms," she added, and Chakotay nodded his head quickly, having heard her let go on very rare occasions. He had been quite impressed, especially as someone whose own vocabulary of epithets was not small.

The others smiled, completely at ease now. They’d learned as the night went on that when The Captain wasn’t around, Kathryn was a warm, funny, relaxed woman. The only person who had spent large amounts of time with her previously had been Chakotay, and he was delighted that the others were getting to know her now.

It was Tom’s deal again, and he grinned wickedly as he shuffled the cards. "I have an idea… let’s make things interesting," he said, and they all looked warily at him, knowing that Tom’s penchant for making things interesting usually resulted in more trouble than interest.

He focused his attention on Kathryn. "If we continue on at this rate, Kathryn, we’ll have cleaned them all out pretty soon. What if we redistribute the rations the way they were at the beginning of the night…"

"And?" B'Elanna said impatiently when he paused to build suspense.

"…And play a little strip poker."

They all stared at him in utter amazement. Ayala went red, Harry turned white, B'Elanna kicked him under the table, and Chakotay looked like he was ready to explode. The first officer opened his mouth to tear into Tom, but before he could even begin, the captain spoke up.

"Okay," she said easily. "I’m game."

Now they all gaped at her, and she almost laughed at the look on Chakotay’s face. She didn’t think she had ever seen him even half as flustered as he was now.

Chakotay very carefully put down the chip he was toying with, as if it were an explosive device rigged to go off shortly. He stared at Kathryn for a moment, and she resisted with great effort the urge to squirm under that dark, piercing gaze.

"What?" she asked finally.

"All right," he said eventually. "Socializing with the crew is a welcome change. Poker with your officers, I can understand. Strip poker?! Who are you and what have you done with Kathryn Janeway?"

She almost laughed until she saw the barest flicker of uncertainty in his eyes. He was slightly serious, and that unnerved her, though she hid it well. She brought her hand up from under the table—being sure to stroke it gently along his thigh as she did so—and smacked him in the chest, probably harder than she needed to. He winced, still staring at her as if she’d grown horns.

"Please, Chakotay. It’s just harmless fun. It’s not like we haven’t all seen each other in swimsuits anyway… is there really a difference? We’ll stop it before it gets indecent—shorts for the men and bras and panties for me and B'Elanna… that is, if you’re all up to it?"

B'Elanna took a moment to think about it and decided that if the captain could get down to her underwear in front of all the men, she certainly could. After all, Tom was her husband, Harry would be too embarrassed to look, Ayala was too much of a gentleman to stare, and Chakotay had seen her at her worst. She nodded.

Harry looked shell-shocked but nodded warily. Ayala glanced at Chakotay, who just gave him a look that said, It’s your funeral. He shrugged and nodded, and Tom laughed and clapped him on the shoulder.

Everyone looked at the last remaining holdout. Kathryn smiled crookedly at Chakotay, and he groaned inwardly. They all expected him to sit next to a casually stripping Kathryn and not do anything about it. He felt his body react to the potential of the situation and fervently hoped he would not have to stand up in the very near future. If this damn game actually happened, he resolved to do everything he could not to lose his trousers.

"Look," he said evenly, trying to inject some sanity into the proceedings. "Are you sure it’s a good idea for five of the ship’s senior officers to be in various states of undress? What if there’s an emergency?"

Janeway smiled and rolled her eyes. "We’re all accustomed to getting dressed quickly, Chakotay. Unless of course there’s something you’re trying to hide, Commander?" she asked slyly.

"No ranks," he said, glowering at her. "Fine. If you’re all willing to go along with this madness, I guess I will too. Just don’t look at me when Tuvok glares at you tomorrow."

"Vulcans don’t glare, Chakotay," Kathryn said, and everyone at the table snorted in disbelief. She chuckled and amended, "Well, maybe ours does, but only because he has to deal with all of us. Now, come on Tom, deal the damn cards."

"Wait," he said in a maddeningly slow voice. "A few rules first. All rank insignia counts as one article of clothing, not one each. Sorry, Kathryn," he said with a grin, which she returned. "A combadge is one article of clothing. Each sock and boot counts as one article, so for us bipeds, that’s four articles all together. Everything else is one article. The ante is one blue chip; bets are clothing. Last one in their skivvies wins. Everyone understand?" They all nodded, and he said brusquely, "Good. Let’s go!" He tossed in a blue chip and everyone else followed.

As Tom dealt, Kathryn said, "I have a question. If it’s strip poker, why are we anteing with chips?"

Tom continued dealing as he spoke, never missing a beat. "Because it’ll make things last longer. If we ante with clothing, we’ll all be nearly naked in no time. This gives us an out if we get a bad hand, and the chips are one ration each. It gives each hand’s winner something to walk away with at the end of the night."

B'Elanna rolled her eyes. "You mean seeing the rest of us in our underwear isn’t enough of a thrill? I can’t believe I’m doing this," she growled.

Tom gestured subtly with his chin, directing her attention to the command team, who were focusing their eyes on their cards and studiously avoiding looking at each other. Suddenly, she understood, and she rolled her eyes again. Yet another of Tom’s matchmaking attempts. Please, Tom, she thought. After all they’ve been through, I don’t think seeing each other in their underwear is going to pitch them into each other’s arms. He just smiled at her, and she knew he was thinking, It can’t hurt to try. She looked at her cards and bit back a sigh. Pair of jacks… things were not looking good.

=/\= =/\= =/\=

A little while later, it was a smile she was attempting to hide. Maybe things weren’t so bad after all. She had a royal flush… her first really good hand since they’d started playing for clothing. She called Tom’s bet, and the bet went round the table, stopping at Harry, who raised it to two articles of clothing.

They all looked at him in astonishment. Since the rules had changed, he’d been lying low, trying not to draw attention to himself. Now he was raising the bet; either he had something very good, or he was bluffing like crazy. Tom called his raise, and the new bet went around the table. Nobody raised it.

Tom put down his three of a kind, shaking his head because he knew there was no way he’d won with that hand. B'Elanna showed her hand, smiling grimly as Ayala and Chakotay both groaned and threw down their cards. Ayala had two pair, and Chakotay had a minor full house. Kathryn scowled; she had a straight flush, but it wasn’t royal. Harry chuckled evilly as he laid down his hand: three threes, an ace, and a one-eyed jack. Five of a kind. B'Elanna gasped.

Harry raked in the ante chips, saying as he did so, "It’s a good thing I won, or I’d be out! Down to my shorts." He was already in his t-shirt and trousers, having removed more clothing than anyone else so far.

Tom reached down, tugged off his remaining sock, and tossed it behind him before removing his turtleneck. He grinned as he saw B'Elanna eyeing his arms and regulation-grey clad chest as she bent to remove her boot and one of her socks.

Ayala took off his socks, rolling them neatly and tucking them into one of his boots. He caught Kathryn smiling at him and grinned. "My wife would be pleased to know all her efforts to teach me weren’t in vain," he said, and she laughed.

Chakotay quickly bent down, removed his socks, and sat back up. Kathryn bent as well, removing a boot and a sock, but she took her time. Her warm breath whispered over Chakotay’s thigh and the skin of his arm, and he nearly groaned, especially when he felt her bare foot quickly brush against his own. She was taking this flirting-for-tactical-advantage thing pretty far, and he wondered if teasing him was part of her newfound resolve to be herself more in front of the crew. He didn’t think he would be able to take very much more of it if it was.

He took the cards B'Elanna was dealing and focused his attention on them, trying not to stare at Kathryn as she reached a hand up and rubbed her neck. She kept her head tilted and rolled her shoulders, baring her pale neck in his direction. He glared at his cards, fighting the desire to latch his mouth onto that creamy skin and mark her as his. When he calmed down enough to see what was in his hand, he nearly grimaced. She really is distracting you, old man, he thought. You almost groaned aloud then. He was well within his rights to groan; he had not a single pair, nor any wild cards. When it was his turn to draw, he kept his two highest cards and asked B'Elanna for three. He looked at the new cards with trepidation. He now had a pair of queens. Well that’s much better, he thought sarcastically.

Kathryn asked for two cards. She leaned slightly to slide the discarded ones over to B'Elanna, and her breast brushed Chakotay’s arm. She smiled an apology at him, and he felt like screaming. The worst part was, he wasn’t completely sure how much she was teasing him and how much he was reading into her actions. Maybe he was just seeing what he wanted to see in her normal, everyday actions.

The bet came around and Chakotay folded, knowing he had no chance of winning with a pair of queens, and also knowing that he’d just forfeited his turtleneck. All of the others stayed in, and Tom raised the bet. It went around again, called by everyone.

B'Elanna tossed down her three of a kind, and Harry followed with his full house. Kathryn laid down a straight, and Ayala put down a flush. Tom grinned in triumph as he showed off his four tens.

Harry sighed dramatically and stripped off his t-shirt, and B'Elanna let out a wolf whistle. He blushed bright red as he quickly stood and unfastened his trousers, sitting down and pulling them off in one quick motion, but not before they all got a glimpse of his regulation grey boxers. He placed his trousers over his lap.

"Can I get dressed again?" he muttered.

"Nope!" Tom replied happily, grabbing Harry’s trousers and throwing them across the room. "Not till everyone’s out." Harry scooted his chair into the table as far as he could and the others laughed.

"Actually," Ayala said, looking uncomfortable, "I’m out too."

He took off his turtleneck, revealing nothing underneath. Then, in the same move Harry had made, he quickly took off his trousers, folding his hands in his lap. It was a move they all knew from the days of sharing quarters, when undressing quickly and with a minimal loss of privacy was important.

Kathryn eyed his bare chest and black boxers quickly but appreciatively. "It’s a good thing the captain’s not here," she said. "She might have to put someone on report for being dressed in a non-regulation uniform."

"She’d have to put me on report too," Chakotay countered, stripping off his turtleneck. "Those t-shirts make things too damn hot."

Kathryn laughed, but to her it sounded hollow. She tried not to focus on the bare, golden chest next to her, but it drew her like a magnet. She idly wondered what he would do—what they would all do—if she leaned over and ran her tongue down the groove between his chest muscles. She forced herself to look up into Chakotay’s face, and it was his lazy grin of triumph more than anything that snapped her out of it.

"Must be a Maquis thing," she retorted.

B'Elanna snorted. "A macho Maquis thing, you mean," she said, her voice slightly muffled as she bent to remove her sock and then came back up to take off her turtleneck. "I have no problems dressing in a regulation uniform," she finished, revealing the standard tank.

Tom grinned and put an arm around her. "Only because my feisty half-klingon gets cold easily," he said.

"You’d better shut up before said feisty half-klingon rips your arm off and beats you with it, Helmboy," she growled, and he hastily removed his arm as the others snickered.

Kathryn removed her sock and then took off her own turtleneck, exposing a regulation tank underneath.

Chakotay snorted suddenly. "The captain might have a bit of trouble if she started putting people on report for non-reg uniforms," he said.

"What do you mean?" Kathryn asked defensively.

He just smiled, raised an eyebrow, and nodded at the black satin bra strap that was peeking out from under her tank. Inwardly, he was thinking, I’ve got to get out of here! But that was impossible. He couldn’t even stand at the moment, at least, not without completely embarrassing himself. His mind was flooded with an image of him sweeping off the table, tossing her on it, and ripping off the rest of her clothes, and he quickly began to recite the Federation charter in his head, his surefire distraction in cases like this.

Kathryn blushed and glared at Tom when he snickered. "Like I said, it’s a good thing she’s not here then."

Her coffee cup was empty, so she reached for Chakotay’s tea. "Mind?" she asked with a grin, and he shook his head numbly. She drained his glass, licking her lips when she was finished, and his eyes narrowed. Okay, that was definitely flirting! he thought.

"Anyone else want something more to drink?" she asked, standing.

They all demurred, except for Chakotay, who said, "Another glass of tea would be nice, thank you, since mine seems to have disappeared. You should probably make it two. It’s getting late," he said with a pointed glance at her empty mug.

She whirled around, hands on hips, and said in a half-exasperated voice, "God, Chakotay, for one night could you please not nag me about my coffee?"

Her eyes widened when she saw how his had darkened, and she tried to back away, but his hand shot out and grabbed her wrist.

"Spirits, woman! I can’t take it anymore! You are so damn sexy when you do that!"

He pulled her onto his lap and proceeded to kiss her soundly. One large hand held her waist firmly in place, grinding her down onto him so she could feel what she’d done to him. The other hand held the back of her head, fingers tangling into the auburn hair. Her hands came up to his shoulders, pushing against them, but he would not let her go.

The others watched them in wordless shock for several moments. Harry and Ayala glanced at each other and prepared to rescue their captain, but before they could, she succeeded in getting free of Chakotay. She did not give him a ringing slap, which was pretty much what they all expected. Instead, it quickly became clear that she was laughing, almost hysterically.

"God, Chakotay!" she said in between snorts of laughter. "Not in front of the children!"

He joined in her laughter, almost incredulously. "Dammit, Kathryn! What the hell did you expect?! You tease me and flirt with me all night long… you constantly touch me… you strip in front of me… you’re lucky you didn’t end up on that damn table!"

She shivered at the images his words produced in her mind. Stooping, she picked up his clothes and tossed them at him. He caught them effortlessly.

"Get dressed, Chakotay. We’re leaving." She glanced at Tom as she began to pull on her uniform. "I know we’re not supposed to dress until the game’s over, but we’re breaking the rules. Sorry," she said unapologetically, and Tom just nodded mutely.

They all watched in silent fascination, still too floored to say anything, as the command team swiftly returned to regulation—or nearly regulation—dress. In one quick move, Chakotay swept their combined rank insignia and combadges into his hand. He flipped over one of the combadges, squinted at it, and then handed it to her. She attached his rank bar and he attached her pips. When they were done, they gave each other a brief once over and then nodded. It was clearly a well-practiced maneuver.

She glanced at the others and laughed at their stunned expressions. "Well," she said, "Now you know. You probably would have found out soon anyway." None of them could tell her that they’d had absolutely no idea, but she must have realized it, because she laughed again and added, "Or maybe you wouldn’t have. Come on, Chakotay. I think we have time for that dinner meeting after all."

He frowned and shook his head. "Oh no. The captain’s locked away in the ready room, remember? But I’m sure I can find something for Kathryn to eat," he said, and though his voice was innocent, his grin was not.

Her mouth dropped open. "Chakotay!" she exclaimed, smacking him on the shoulder. "Get out of here, now!" she added, pushing him toward the door with both hands. "Before you destroy the last shreds of our reputation! Thanks for the game!" she called, just before the doors slid shut behind them.

They all stared at the closed door. After a few minutes, Harry said weakly, "Now can I get dressed?"