The Impromptu Captain-Teacher Conference
By Ralkana

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Chakotay handed Kathryn the cup of coffee he’d just fetched from her replicator, grinning as she thanked him absentmindedly without taking her eyes off her padd. He came around the couch, his tea in hand, stopping when he saw her smile. It was a proud smile, and he was intrigued.

“What are you smiling at?” he asked as he sat next to her, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her closer so he could read her padd. He raised an eyebrow. “Naomi’s grades? What are you doing with those?”

She leaned her head on his shoulder. “Don’t you think it’s important for me to follow my assistant’s scholastic progress?”

He laughed. “I suppose. Does she know you have them?”

Kathryn snorted. “Of course. Who do you think brought them to me? I see she got top marks in anthropology.”

Chakotay grinned. “She’s a bright girl. She learns quickly. You know, I forgot how much I enjoyed teaching,” he said, his voice trailing off as he lost himself in memories. She watched him with a half-smile, and after a moment, he shook himself out of it. “How’d she do in everything else?”

“Top marks in everything.”

“I’m not surprised. If you scroll down further, there’s a list of future projects for Sam to consider and authorize. I’m planning on taking her on a dig on the holodeck next month if Sam okays it.”

Kathryn laughed at the excitement in his voice. “Is the trip for you or her?”

Before he could answer, she scrolled down and nearly spit out her coffee, bringing a hand up to her mouth just in case.

“What is it?”

“The Doctor wants her to start studying genetics.”

He frowned, puzzled. “And…”

“By studying a breeding population to examine how traits are passed on. A population of live animals. Rabbits, to be specific.”

Chakotay’s face lit up in comprehension. “Ah. That’s what she meant by bunnies.”

“Bunnies?”

“During our lesson yesterday, she mentioned something about the Doctor and bunnies. But you know how Naomi is when she gets excited. A thousand words a minute. I just nodded and figured it would all become clearer later.”

“Chakotay, the Doctor wants to begin breeding rabbits. On my ship. With the express purpose of watching the rabbit population grow.”

“Yes.”

“Rabbits reproduce prolifically.”

“They do. That's probably why he chose them.”

“They breed, in fact, like rabbits.”

“I’m quite familiar with the breeding practices of rabbits.”

There was a strange tone in Chakotay’s voice, and it snapped her out of her horrified contemplation. She looked up to see a long-suffering expression on his face, and when he caught her puzzled glance, the tips of his ears reddened.

“My mother bred rabbits. The Earth species and its Treban counterpart. I helped her.”

Kathryn grinned delightedly, imagining him as a little boy surrounded by bunnies. He cleared his throat and tugged at his ear.

“Anyway,” he said quickly, trying to change the subject. “Okay, so live rabbits are out. How about holographic ones?” He snapped his fingers. “I’ve got a better idea. He wants her to study traits. What if she studies traits in flora, not fauna? She can do her experiments in the airponics bay, and like I said, she’s a bright girl. It’s entirely possible she’ll come up with a new hybrid, and we can always use more viable food sources.”

She nodded her head thoughtfully. “That’s an excellent idea.” She made a notation in her padd to talk to the Doctor about it, all the while transferring her gaze back and forth between the padd and his face, a slight smile gracing her features.

“What?” he asked finally.

Kathryn laughed. “You know, every time I think I know you, you surprise me.”

“Good.” He grinned, but it faded as she eyed him speculatively once more. “What now?”

“I guess I was right. You really are an expert in mating behavior.”

He laughed incredulously. “Of bunnies!”

She winked at him. “You’re pretty good with the human rituals too.”

Chakotay grinned and pulled her into his lap, kissing her soundly. “Thank you, beloved. You’re not so bad at them yourself,” he answered when they came up for air. Struggling to free herself from his grasp, she stood before him, chin raised haughtily and hands behind her back, one still clasping the padd. She gazed imperiously down upon him.

“It is my opinion, Commander,” she stated in a cool monotone, “That we should continue into the sleeping area and proceed to copulate like rabbits.”

He struggled not to laugh as she flawlessly imitated Seven of Nine. Not to be outdone, he stood as well, drawing himself up impeccably straight. One eyebrow rose in a distinctly Tuvokian fashion.

“I believe the phrase you are looking for, Captain,” he intoned gravely, “Is ‘Let’s go to bed and screw like bunnies.’”

Breaking character, she laughed and tossed the padd away before she grabbed his hand, tugging him towards her. “That works too.”