Disclaimer – Leverage is owned by Electric Entertainment and TNT. If I owned it, we'd have more episodes, and Eliot would have a lot more screen time!

Comments and feedback to Ralkana47@yahoo.com would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Author's Note – An episode tag to The 12 Step Job.

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Hardison shook his head as he listened to Parker happily chatter to Sophie in her office while playing with her lock collection. That bright, cheerful tone was just… weird. As far as he was concerned, the happy pills couldn't wear off fast enough.

Nate was closed up in his own office, probably getting wrecked as quickly as humanly possible, which accounted for Sophie's silence. Well, actually, perky Parker in there probably accounted more for Sophie's silence, but whatever.

Hardison settled into the conference room with a six-pack of Jones, a couple of bags of chips, and his laptop. He felt too isolated in his own office, which was strange, since he'd worked alone for so long – they all had. But from in here, he could sort of keep tabs on everyone. He wondered if he should be worried that he felt the most secure when he was monitoring his team, job or no job. He shrugged, flexing his fingers as he reached for his keyboard. Besides, he thought with a grin, one little laptop screen in my office... wall o' screens in the conference room.

He'd just signed on for some quality WoW time when a bucket of cleaning supplies landed on the conference table in front of him.

He raised an eyebrow and lifted his head to see Eliot standing across the table from him, arms crossed, glare turned up to Threat Level Orange.

"There's forty-four ounces of nuclear blue slushy congealed in the floorboards of my truck."

"Sucks to be you." The nonchalant tone Hardison was trying for probably would have worked better if his voice weren't shaking like Nate's hands. He didn't think Eliot would actually hurt him – probably – but, man, it was crazy being the sole target of that much smoldering aggression.

Eliot's lips thinned even more. Hardison hadn't thought that was possible.

"Sucks to be – " Eliot drew in a deep breath, and Hardison watched, slightly awed and hating it, as the hitter visibly gathered his self-control. "You don't get your ass up in five seconds, you're going to find out just how much it sucks to be you."

"Come on, man, it was an accident!"

"Yeah. Yeah, accidents happen. I might accidentally trip and fall and break your face!"

"Is there a problem?" Sophie came in, Parker peering excitedly over her shoulder.

"No. No problem," Eliot told her without taking his eyes off Hardison. "Hardison here's just about to go wash my truck."

"Look, I didn't do it on purpose – "

"I don't care about purpose!" Eliot growled. "It's not a matter of purpose. It's a matter of having respect for other people's things!"

Hardison choked on the soda he'd just sipped. "Respect. Seriously, man? Seriously. You steal 'other people's things' for a living!"

"That's not the point! We're supposed to be a team! We're supposed to respect each other! And if you don't get your ass downstairs right now, I may just lose my respect for your things! Startin' with that shiny laptop!"

Hardison's humor fled. What had started out as a kind of a challenge to see where exactly Eliot's snapping point might be was no longer amusing. "Don't even joke about that, man. Not even funny."

"How come?" Parker broke in.

Startled, Hardison glanced her way. "How come what?"

"How come it's funny that you messed up his truck, but it's not funny that he'd break your laptop? Why is your laptop more special to you than his truck is to him?" She eyed him, head tilted with curiosity. "The truck cost him more money. That deserves more respect."

Hardison looked at the three of them ranged against him – Eliot's vibrating fury, Sophie's cool regard, and Parker's weirdly avid interest – and he knew he wasn't getting out of it.

"Fine," he bit out, closing his laptop. He shoved his chair away from the table, grabbing the bucket of supplies. "I'll clean the freakin' cab. I'm not touching the rest of your damn truck!" he snapped as he stalked toward the elevator.

"Don't forget the Armor All!" Eliot called after him, and Hardison narrowed his eyes as he punched the elevator's down button.

"This team thing sucks!"

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