Please see disclaimers and headers in Chapter 1.
Chapter 6: Once More with Friends, Old and New
Buffy came to her bedroom only to find an elf sitting on her bed, looking very scared. Buffy knew there were house elves all around the school, but she didn't meet them very often. As soon as the elf saw her, she jumped off the bed and started bowing so deeply Buffy thought her head would touch the floor.
"Hello, Miss," said the elf, looking around nervously. "Umm, Professor Dumbledore sent me to ask you… if I could clean your rooms…I will always keep them nice and shiny, not that they aren't now, but it would be easier for you…."
"Wait a minute, slow down a little. Let's start from the beginning. What is your name?" Buffy liked the nervous elf, but the thought of someone else cleaning her rooms had never even crossed her mind.
"The name is Winky, Miss." The elf now looked more comfortable, although she kept fidgeting around.
"Professor Dumbledore sent you to me. To help me. Is that right?" asked Buffy, kneeling next to her.
"Yes, Miss. Winky would love to be your servant, Winky would be a good elf. My last Master…oh…" She suddenly started crying.
Buffy felt the strange need to comfort the little creature in front of her, to wipe the tears out of those big brown eyes.
'I never liked cleaning much, anyway…'
"Here's the deal, Winky. You can clean my rooms; I would really appreciate it. But I would also like for you to keep me company sometimes. We all need someone to talk to. I think you would keep my secrets safe, wouldn't you?"
A different kind of tears appeared in the elf's eyes. Her eyes widened with amazement, and then happiness, as she squealed and hugged Buffy, as much as she could.
"Oh yes, Miss! Winky wouldn't talk to anyone about it, not even Dobby, and Dobby is Winky's best friend! You can trust Winky… Thank you, Miss, thank you so much!" Winky was by now jumping all over the room.
"It's all right, Winky, no problem at all. You can come tomorrow to start. Oh, and please call me Buffy, okay?"
"Thank you again, Miss. Winky is very happy, looking forward to tomorrow! You are a very nice lady, Miss… I mean Buffy!" said Winky exiting the room backwards, bowing all the time.
Buffy laughed. She had a feeling this little elf would mean a lot more to her than she could imagine…
'And she is simply fun! Plus… no more cleaning! Yay me! Life is good…'
***
"Harry! Wait a minute!" He turned around and saw Hermione trying to catch up with him. He wasn't really in the mood for conversation, but he thought it would be easier if he just listened to what she had to say.
"Why are you in such a hurry? I've been trying to find you all morning…"
"Was it anything important?" Harry cut her off abruptly.
Hermione looked a bit stunned at his words but quickly recomposed herself. "Well, no, not really, I just wanted to see how you are. Ron and I…"
"I'm fine, thanks for asking. Say hi to Ron for me. See you at Defence class."
'Why don't they just leave me alone? That's all I ask of them…'
Harry frowned, and with an angry look on his face walked away, leaving Hermione behind him and not noticing that a certain blonde professor was watching him from the shadows.
***
"We have a few minutes left, and I have an assignment for you. I want you to write me an essay about the differences between good, bad and neutral demons. If you think there are no differences, write about that too. Some examples of each kind of demon can get you extra credit. If you have any more questions, feel free to ask me anytime. I want those essays on my desk in a month. Minimum three rolls of parchment. Yes, Miss Granger, you can do more. If you want more themes, come and see me after classes. That's all, guys; you're free to go."
When most of the students had left, Buffy called to Harry, who was still there.
"Harry? Can you please come see me after classes? I'd like to talk to you."
***
There was a knock on her doors.
"Come in," she said, leaning back in her chair.
"You said you wanted to talk to me," said Harry as he entered the office.
"Yes. Please, sit."
He was a little confused about what Professor Summers could possibly want to talk about with him, but he obeyed nevertheless, sitting in one of the armchairs in front of her desk.
"First, I'll tell you a few things, and please don't interrupt me, okay?" When he nodded, she continued.
"I've been watching you these past few weeks, in my classes and in the halls. Don't worry, I'm not stalking you, I was just interested, because I've noticed you're not quite here. Your body is; you walk, you write, even sometimes talk, but your mind is somewhere far away from here. And not in a very good place."
"But…"
"I said, don't interrupt me," said Buffy gently, but Harry could tell she was serious.
"There is a reason I'm telling you all this. I think you can assume Professor Dumbledore has told me some things about you. About your childhood and your fights against Voldemort. Nothing detailed, just the Cliffs' Notes. And he told me about your loss last year. I'm not trying to pour salt on your wound; I just want to be honest so you can trust me.
"You see, the reason I started observing you in the first place was because I recognized myself in you. I haven't had an easy life either. When I was 15, my life was turned upside-down. My parents divorced, and me and my mom moved to another town. That wasn't nearly the worst part. I can't tell you everything; there is too much to tell, but I've had many losses too.
"First my dad left me, then the most important man in my life left too, and a year and a half after that, my mom died. So I know what it feels like to have your heart ripped out and stomped on. When I lost my mother, I thought I was going to die. I didn't know how to go on. I had a little sister to look after too, and my life was a complete mess. All I wanted was to curl up somewhere and be left alone.
"I've recognized that haunted look in your eyes. I've seen how you're trying to push your friends away. Been there, done that. Many times. I guess all I want to say is, don't. Don't do that. No matter how hard things get, how low you are, your friends can help you, if you let them. I've had to learn that the hard way."
By the end of Buffy's speech, Harry had a tear trickling down his cheek. It was like she knew exactly how he felt. And she probably did, too.
"Don't cry, Harry. It's gonna get better, believe me. I'm sorry if I said too much; I didn't want to pry in your life. All I wanted to do was help…"
"It's okay, Professor. I… Thank you. This…." Harry was left speechless. He felt as if a tiny fraction of his heart, frozen since he'd seen Sirius falling, was melting, coming back to life. He had no words to express it.
"I know. No problem, Harry. You can go now, I'm sure you have a lot of things to do," said Buffy with a warm but mischievous look in her eyes.
He got up and headed for the door. He was just opening it, when Buffy called to him again.
"Harry? If you want to talk to someone…I'm here."
He nodded and smiled, his eyes expressing gratitude. He felt a connection with Buffy, some sort of wordless understanding.
Then he left the office.
***
"Dear Willow,"I know it's been a while since I last wrote. I suppose Giles told you we met each other, and I know he told you where I am. He said you knew something about it, too. That's why I won't write about the walls that surround me or the furniture that I have here.
"I'm writing because I've figured out I have walls of another kind built around me. And they've been here since you brought me back. Maybe even since Angel left. Every little misunderstanding that we had was a stone that made the walls grow. I want that to stop now.
"I need you, Willow, I need my best friend. I never really blamed you for bringing me back. I was just too messed up then to realize that. And when Tara was killed… I was hurting too. I'm sorry we couldn't have been there for each other at that moment. I guess we grew apart a little after that. Later, you had Kennedy. Kennedy, who tried to question my every word, my every action. I heard you left her before you went with Giles. I suppose she was kind of your Riley. Someone who loved you, a relationship that would be nothing like your last one. I know how that feels.
"I could write for ages about all the little and big things that hurt me, and I'm sure you would have even more to write back. We've all made mistakes. I think what hurt me the most was when you wouldn't stand up for me the night the Potentials, and everybody else, kicked me out of the house. Now I realize I needed that. Maybe I thought I didn't deserve it, but I needed something to wake me up.
"A conversation I had today with one of my students made me realize how important friends are. Made me remember how much fun we once had, how much we meant to each other. I want that back. I'm sure we can have that again.
"I won't lie, not everything is forgiven and forgotten, but you still mean a lot to me.
"Give my love to Dawn.
"Your Buffy"
***
"Hermione!" This time it was Harry doing the catching-up. All their classes that day were finished.
Hermione didn't even turn around. She was still hurt from their previous encounter. All she and Ron wanted to do was help him, and he just pushed them away.
'If that's what he wants, that's what he'll get.'
She just kept on walking.
But Harry didn't want to let her get away, not this time. Professor Summers had made him realise he needed his friends to get over Sirius' death.
"Hermione, please! Just listen to me, okay?"
Finally, she turned around, and Harry noticed she looked very tired.
"What?"
He was breathing heavily because of the running, but he had to say what was on his mind.
"I know I've been mean since we came back to Hogwarts, not talking to you guys, just ignoring you. I'm really sorry, I didn't know how to deal, and I still don't, but I know I mustn't leave you out of this… Last year, I was jealous first because you were with the Order all summer, and then as time went by, there were all these other little things that bothered me. I kept pushing you and Ron away. I don't want to do that anymore." He lifted his hands in defeat. "I'm sorry, Hermione."
He opened his mouth to say something more, but he was cut off and left speechless as she hugged him fiercely.
"Oh, Harry, I'm so glad you finally came round! I know this has been very hard for you, and we wanted to be there for you, but you didn't let us! We can get through this together… I miss Sirius too, you know…" She let him go and tears appeared in her eyes.
Harry took her hand. "I know…Don't cry. Let's go and find Ron. I need to apologize to him too."
They both smiled and went down the hallway, on their road to dealing with the past and working on the future.
***
TBC...
|
|
|